my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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