its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
