do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I am one with the molecules
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
