TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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