We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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