i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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