Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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