She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I have post one night stand depression
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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