Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
