he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
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