we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
