I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
