escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
