john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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