How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
