There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize