so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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