I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Randomize
