I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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