so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
