Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
