i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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