The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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