I'm going to jail i love you
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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