I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
