bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
