Buhtt sex?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I have aggressive nipples.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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