good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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