bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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