i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
