i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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