Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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