i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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