Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
