She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
