yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Randomize
