Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
