Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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