When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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