her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
