moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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