My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
we made out on top of his cat.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
