accomplished twins. life is a go
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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