Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize