Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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