i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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