the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
