Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize