Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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