I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
