I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
