I think my vagina is haunted
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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