Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
