you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
