I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
