We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
