Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
