dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
