I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
