I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
