would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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