You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
